The 3×2 Flu

19 Dec

Maybe you have never heard of the 3×2 flu.  I know some far more seasoned and superior athletes read this blog, so this is not surprising.

I couldn’t find a good medical explanation, but there are plenty of pictures out there.  The 3×2 Flu looks like this:

It doesn’t have to be Molson, 3×2 Flu comes in lots of flavors.   The 3×2 Flu will end running streaks and throw training plans all out of whack.  Now normally a few (or six) beers won’t do much to me.  I might be a little more groggy than usual the next day if a late night was involved, but on Friday, I went overboard.

OFFICE PARTY! (only I don’t work in an office, I work in a shop….guys in shops throw down on the bosses dime…..the only thing embarrassing would be drinking so much that you passed out while at the party and woke up with penis drawings on your face or found yourself in an awkward position in a piece of farm machinery)

There they were, ice cold Molson’s, Schlitz (that only one guy drank), and Coronas.  The generic beer kings of an entire continent represented, all snuggled up in a cow trough of icy goodness.  Things started out innocent enough, beer is painless and barely makes a dent.  Then the bosses kid broke out the whiskey.  No big deal, whiskey isn’t just for tooth aches and colds anymore.  Then old Al showed up with what he calls “wine” but can only be described by this song…..TAKE IT AWAY GEORGE!   

Let me tell ya, unless it is some sissy garbage your brother in law made in his Mr. Beer maker, homemade alcohol is to be avoided.  I’ve had my fair share of run ins with guys all whacked out on shine and homemade wine.  A moonshine drunk is a different kind of drunk.  STAY AWAY!

Thankfully, I had my designated driver there and she got me home safely and put up with my intoxicated in car rantings.  You know, the normal in car conversations about how pine trees should be illegal and how all squirrels are causing the economy to suffer (see what I mean about moonshine drunks?).  Normally, a person who had a few too many would lay down, call it a night, and wake up a little sore in the morning.  One problem:  Al’s “wine” wanted out.  I got half way up the porch steps and away it went!  I heaved for a good five minutes.  I felt MUCH better, but in the process of heaving I pulled every muscle in my neck, chest, back, and proceeded to fall over said railing into my flowerbed two feet below.  No one has ever accused me of doing anything halfway.  Needless to say, I didn’t run Friday night, couldn’t even laugh without hurting on Saturday, REALLY needed Sunday as my weekly day of rest, and finally punished myself with a good run tonight.  I don’t know how far I went, but it felt good, like I was releasing demons that I let in on Friday.

Let me tell you, there is nothing wrong with a little fun and a little al-key-hall, but I crossed the line the other night and my training and focus suffered.   I’ve generally been on the wagon, specifically the “self control wagon” but when it is free and a good time is rolling I have a hard time.  Once old man Molson got my guard down it became impossible to stop.   The good news is, I can breath and laugh without hurting now, I ran tonight, I plan to stay off the sauce until maybe after my New Years’s Eve race in Ashburn (Ringing in Hope Brambleton Ashburn, VA 5K), and I was reminded of what a bad bender feels like.

Now that I’ve proven myself mortal once again, falling to the temptation of a good time and spirits, it is time to get back on the training circuit and push myself.  No buzz is quite as good as the one I get from working out…..oh, and running doesn’t give me a hangover.

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Posted by on December 19, 2011 in Uncategorized


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